My Rant About Survival Kits & Outdoors Preparedness

CAUTION: This post contains strong language, if you are easily offended then stop here and read my other posts, they are family friendly.
This rant is a bit "left of center" for the purpose I originally created this Blog for. Keep that in mind while you read this post. After many hours of bad coffee & cigarettes, I came to the realization that I am a JPEG whore: right clicking and saving pictures of survival kits of all kinds, EDC kits, and Bug Out Bags. I am of course addicted to Youtube as well. I've been up all night again Googling "Survival Kit" and watching videos. It's now 10am and I'm still pouring over pictures of so called "Survival Kits", commercially available ones, homemade ones, kits endorsed by "Experts", and kits I'm not even sure what they are. It seems everyone has a kit and puts it on the Internet for the whole world to see. Granted, some are O.K., but then you have people & Websites that advertise their kit as the "Ultimate" or "Used by Special Forces around the world" and they put snazzy cool words in the titles with fancy lettering: "Wilderness Survival kit" and
"Back country Survival" to mesmerize the masses. Which in itself is harmless, but then you have millions of
"Average Joe Sheep" out there seeing the same pictures and watching the same bogus videos. It's not their fault they fall for all the glitter & hype, after all, they are just consumers duped by good advertising. You also have those that believe they can make their own survival kit from stuff they found around the house...and there are those that download the all too famous all inclusive "Ten Essential Groups lists" from "Survival Websites" and think they will go to Wally World or an Outdoors retailer and pick up a few things and viola! instant life saving kit in a Altoids tin. I see nothing inherently wrong with this if done correctly and with sensible guidance.
But, far be it for me to tell anyone how to spend their money or time, after all, I'm no survival expert. I just grew up hunting, fishing, and camping with my Dad & Grandfather since I could walk. Shooting and catching dinner was a way of life for me and my brothers for as far back as I remember. You might think this is all fine and well for a bunch of "Rednecks" living on the outskirts of some small town. Well, you would be extremely wrong...we lived smack in the middle of suburban Houston, Texas. I grew up in a family of all military veterans where saying "Sir" wasn't a request...if you wanted to keep your head attached to the rest of your body that is. I also served in the U.S. Army from 1987 thru 2001. I had the pleasure of having a Company Co. in the 1st Cav. Div. that insisted we study FM 21-76 the U.S. Army Survival Manual during "Sergeant's Time" and make a "Survival Kit" that was "Subject to inspection" at any time. So I guess I've actively practiced survival tech, hunting, fishing, hiking, and just about every other stupid human trick that came my way...I even jumped out of a perfectly good aircraft for a little qualification pin. But still, I don't consider myself an expert...maybe I just got lucky and survived all these years due to dumb luck, who's to say.
Anyway, back to the survival kits...Now, I have always kept a "kit" of sorts with me, I thought it was just common sense that if you left the house to go certain places, depending on how far away from "home base" you were to go was the deciding factor to what would be in the "kit", my Dad never let me leave the yard without it, (obviously for when I went exploring, hiking and other like activities).
These days, we have people buying "kits in a Tin" at well known outdoors outlets, I won't mention any names here for any potential legal reasons. These people think they have a kit that could, at a bare minimum, keep them alive until they are rescued. As a "Gag" gift I received such a kit for Christmas in my stocking. Yes, I still hang a stocking...and yes, Santa leaves me presents and I'm 42 yrs old. You know I just had to check this thing out, remember...this was a gag gift. I was utterly appalled, I had seen this kit online, but never had one...it is a well touted brand too. I was amazed at the poor craftsmanship & shear small size of the contents, I wouldn't be able to put but a few of the things I would need or consider putting in a "Survival" kit into the tin this crap came in...actually, my own "Kit" is large in comparison and has it's own 'dedicated' Butt pack & waterproof Pelican Case.
I'm left handed and I have smaller hands, so there's two strikes against me to start with, and the stuff in this kit was almost too small for me to handle without dropping half of it.
I can only image what would happen to someone if they relied upon this crap in a real survival situation...freezing cold, distressed, lost, hungry, their capillaries & veins constricted by dehydration! Surely carrying a survival kit like this one would give one of those millions of sheep a sense of false hope sitting there unopened in pristine condition in their pocket and looking real pretty in the package. As a matter of fact...Many kits like the one I received, come with "Small Print" stating that the use or mis-use of the kit and/or it's contents could result in user injury or death! That's a comforting thought! So...Moral of the story? DON'T BE A SHEEP...
BUY REAL SHIT AND PUT IT IN A REAL CONTAINER, THAT WILL FIT IN A REAL HVY DUTY BAG, WITH REAL GEAR, A REAL KNIFE,
A GUN (optional, unless you live in Texas as I do, then it becomes a must), COMPASS, GPS, FOOD, WATER, AND ANYTHING & EVERYTHING ELSE THAT WILL FIT IN THE FUCKIN' BAG!!!.
If you buy a cheap, or not so cheap "Survival Kit" and think you are covered, please...think again, and then rethink it. YOU WILL DIE, YOU WILL BE A DEAD ROTTING CARCASE ON THE SIDE OF A HILL, WITH BUZZARDS PICKING YOUR EYES OUT TO EAT AS APPETIZERS...YOUR COLD DEAD FINGERS STILL CLUTCHING ONTO THAT CRAPPY CHINESE MADE BUTTON COMPASS AND WORTHLESS PIECE OF TINFOIL.

IMPORTANT:
1.) If you are an untrained novice, then you probably have no damn business being out in the woods in the first place.
2.) If you are a weekend camper and/or hiker with minimal experience, please stay on the known paths as laid out by the park service. 3.) Consult a professional or a person with adequate experience before going off the "beaten path".
4.) Take all necessary precautions, invest in some basic Bushcraft courses, take a CPR & First Aid class or two, or join the military. When you think your kit is too heavy, put more in it...it may be the ONLY thing between you and the Angel of Death. Believe me, he really doesn't care if you left your fuckin' map & compass at home or you bought a asinine survival kit in a tin. This planet is already hostile to human life as it is, and many humans are as hostile, if not more, than any animal you may find in the woods.

I'm not saying that all store bought "Survival Kits" are total crap, but they are a "bare bones minimum", I wouldn't send good ole' Granny outside in the front yard with one unless I added a lot more to it. I also think that making one from scratch is great as well, just use some fuckin' common sense and logic, ask questions, the only deadly question...
is the one you didn't ask.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to be prepared, properly equipped, and appropriately dressed, whether you are going to the store down the street or to the woods for the weekend. It makes sense to have what you need, rather than need something you didn't bring and die.